


Yakko's Curse Critique

by Babbit



Category: Animaniacs
Genre: Criticism, Critique, Gen, I Tried, Rewrite, Spoilers, chapter by chapter critque, not really the nicest, read book before reading this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babbit/pseuds/Babbit
Summary: Hey! This is for Transformersfan123, about their work Yakko's Curse, and is a chapter by chapter scene by scene breakdown and critique of the story! Do not send any hate to this person, I am only doing this critique if I enjoyed the story.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Yakko's Curse Critique

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Yakko's Curse](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13332618) by [Transformersfan123](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Transformersfan123/pseuds/Transformersfan123). 



Fanfic starts abruptly, with Yakko’s nightmares. Good start, sets some tone. We learn he has nightmares of memories, but are never told of what, which sets up a good mystery. We are introduced to Zany, and the concept that Wakko and Dot do not have the memories Yakko does. We get a hint of what happened, with the mention of multicolored fire and that the animators did something to Yakko in the past. Yakko curls up after his nightmare and mentions blood, death, and insanity. He does not wish to wake his siblings. We get the odd sentence ‘flexing his zaniness’ without context, which creates confusion upon first reading and is never explained, but it explains that this ‘zaniness’ keeps him from making loud noises in his sleep and waking his siblings. Yakko thinks of his burden, and thinks of someone who can help [who we later learn is Doctor Scratchnsniff] he ‘flexes his zany’ again and turns into a shadow. This ability is also never explained, but is used often.

Yakko travels through the ‘deep’ shadows to Scratchansniff’s...house? Office? Never quite cleared up. The lights are on, and Yakko doesn’t knock until they turn off and he fears missing his chance. Scratchnsniff comes outside at the knock, and says that he is not up for whatever Yakko is doing. Good characterization of Scratchnsniff, but this Yakko is very un-Yakko-y. Yakko calls for him to wait, and makes the door stop closing, which Scratchnsniff later says is odd. Yakko is out-of-character, but this is acknowledged in the story, as he is frightful and pained instead of jovial and sarcastic. This works for now, but doesn’t later. Yakko is asked if he’s okay by the Doctor, and Yakko doesn’t answer the question, instead opting to ask if he is their psychiatrist and will help if they have a problem. Scratchnsniff notices this is odd behavior, and beckons him inside. The door does not move for Scratchnsniff, but does for Yakko, leading Scratchnsniff to wonder why it hadn’t been cartoonish in it’s stopping motion. This doesn’t work, because stopping something in mid-action happens often in cartoons from Yakko’s era. Yakko states that the door is okay, and Scratchy looks at him in the light, taking note of Yakko’s helpless looks and insecure posture. He asks Yakko if he wants anything, and Yakko asks for a hot drink and nods when Scratchy offers hot chocolate. He looks at the books while Scratchy makes the hot chocolates. Yakko pickles a book about the history of Warner Brothers animation department. Scratchy opens the book to a page that holds a picture of the animators, and asks Yakko if he knows them. In a completely out of character moment, Yakko goes into a sudden rage, and not a building one like what would be natural. He states that he know the animators, and calls them “Insensitive clods”, “festering worms”, and “putrid things that shouldn’t have been allowed to touch a paint brush” in a fashion very unlike Yakko Warner should. During this, his eyes turn red? It doesn’t make sense and only comes up twice more.

He heats up the hot chocolate to a boil, and shatters the mug. This causes the hot chocolate to splatter the book, Yakko’s gloves, the wall, and the sofa. Yakko then proceeds to burn the book in the fireplace, and grin maniacally. Scratchy yells at him, and first he looks at the doctor with the ‘promise of death in the usually jovial gaze’ before his eyes turn back to black and he strangely loses his memory. Yakko asks what happened, and then realizes he burnt the book and shattered the mug. He says he will fix it, which confuses Scratchnsniff. That doesn’t make sense for Yakko nor Scratchnsniff’s character, because Scratchnsniff is well aware of Yakko’s abilities as a cartoon character, and would also yell at Yakko and demand he fix it if he were in character. Though Scratchy is fatherly to them, that happens after a cartoonish buildup, where they bother him to rage. A good idea would be if Scratchy yelled and Yakko was terrified (because of his mom and dad yelling and hitting) and Scratchy realizes that this is not a normal situation.

Continuing with the story, Yakko raises his hands like a conductor [a regular cartoony gesture] and reverses time? It is never explained how his powers allow him to do that. Time reverses and things return to how they were before Yakko broke them. Yakko takes the reformed book, and places it back on the shelf. He apologizes to Scratchy, and Scratchy questions how he does this. It goes downhill from there. Yakko states that he shouldn’t have come and says that nobody can help him. Ow. The edge. Yakko sets down the hot chocolate and goes to leave, but Scratchy holds his arm. We are vaguely told that it is uncomfortable for a human and a toon to touch, but we don’t get a description of the feeling in this chapter, which is where it should be, instead of later in the story. Scratchy says Yakko doesn’t know if he can’t help, because he has not told the doctor what is wrong. Yakko follows Scratchy back to the couch, and Scratchy sits in the chair across from it. We get another vague statement about touching a toon, and the Scratchy asks Yakko why he is here.

Chapter one is easily the most comprehensible chapter, and doesn’t have most of the same mistakes as the other 5 chapters. It is vague in places where there should be detail, and detailed in places that come before the vague, just like in the rest of the chapters to come.


End file.
